Comments on: Wedding Planner Q&A – Distant Relatives http://www.helencarterweddings.co.uk/blog/planning-advice/wedding-planner-qa-distant-relatives/ Bespoke wedding planning Tue, 24 Jan 2012 08:20:35 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Helen http://www.helencarterweddings.co.uk/blog/planning-advice/wedding-planner-qa-distant-relatives/comment-page-1/#comment-889 Helen Mon, 16 Nov 2009 14:53:36 +0000 http://www.helencarterweddings.co.uk/?p=1836#comment-889 Thanks for your comment Rosanna, you clearly feel very strongly about this issue. You're quite right in that nobody should impose their will on you, especially when it's your wedding. Unfortunately, though, there are times when people feel they should have some say in the matter, and this is particularly true if they are making significant monetary contributions towards the reception. It's not about giving in to other people's demands, but rather finding a compromise that's acceptable for all parties. Acknowledging parents' wishes and finding an appropriate solution, such as inviting more distant relatives to the evening reception only, means that unpleasant, stressful arguments and long-term family rifts may be avoidable. Thanks for your comment Rosanna, you clearly feel very strongly about this issue. You’re quite right in that nobody should impose their will on you, especially when it’s your wedding. Unfortunately, though, there are times when people feel they should have some say in the matter, and this is particularly true if they are making significant monetary contributions towards the reception.

It’s not about giving in to other people’s demands, but rather finding a compromise that’s acceptable for all parties. Acknowledging parents’ wishes and finding an appropriate solution, such as inviting more distant relatives to the evening reception only, means that unpleasant, stressful arguments and long-term family rifts may be avoidable.

]]> By: Rosanna http://www.helencarterweddings.co.uk/blog/planning-advice/wedding-planner-qa-distant-relatives/comment-page-1/#comment-791 Rosanna Sat, 07 Nov 2009 23:22:46 +0000 http://www.helencarterweddings.co.uk/?p=1836#comment-791 "However, if they want to invite them you will probably have to go along with it seeing as they are footing the bill." I strongly disagree with this statement. Nobody has the right to impose their will on you, whether they are footing the bill or not. If I decide to give a monetary gift I don't tell them how to spend what I've given and I demand the same respect. Personally, as a client I wouldn't want a wedding planner to suggest I give in to somebody's else wish, as it's my wedding, not theirs. It's ok to be nice in setting boundaries in order to avoid major rifts, but this suggestion is way overboard. “However, if they want to invite them you will probably have to go along with it seeing as they are footing the bill.”

I strongly disagree with this statement. Nobody has the right to impose their will on you, whether they are footing the bill or not. If I decide to give a monetary gift I don’t tell them how to spend what I’ve given and I demand the same respect.

Personally, as a client I wouldn’t want a wedding planner to suggest I give in to somebody’s else wish, as it’s my wedding, not theirs. It’s ok to be nice in setting boundaries in order to avoid major rifts, but this suggestion is way overboard.

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