Finding “The One”
You know how it happens in fairy tales. The aspiring princess enters a beautiful room where candles flicker and reflect in multiple mirrors. She is momentarily taken aback by the beauty in the room, but as her eyes grow accustomed to the magnificence of her surroundings, she sees “The One” from the other side of the room. Her heart skips a beat and there begins a relationship the likes of which she has dreamed of since childhood. Never once does her gaze wander off to lesser contenders, there is one true destination for her heart and the bond is immediate and emotional.
Well, that’s how it’s meant to happen isn’t it? Finding “The One” – the confection of taffeta, lace (or whatever is your thing) that you’ve dreamed of since childhood? It’s not just the dress which you have dreamed about, but also the champagne-softened experience of shopping for the ultimate dress with your closest friend or mother. My experience, however, was somewhat different and I have to say that I learned quickly as I progressed from shop to shop.
The Style
In common with many brides I had been scanning the wedding magazines and had a pretty good idea of what I wanted in a dress (and perhaps more importantly, what I didn’t ). My must-have list was short-sleeves – my list of no-go items was longer and more firmly entrenched and I made a vow to myself that I would not try on dresses that were strapless, shiny, sparkly, white, ruched across the bodice, meringues or any combination of the above! I rather liked heavy lace dresses and really adored anything with a square neckline or that looked like it had stepped out of the pages of Pride and Prejudice.
What I didn’t appreciate was that I may have very strong views about my wedding dress, but wedding dresses also have very strong views about brides! In my first boutique, having selected five dresses which fitted my strict criteria, it soon became clear that I needed a complete rethink on what my dream dress would be if I wished to look passable and be comfortable on the day. Anything with a scooped or V neckline was making me feel uncomfortably exposed and the lace dresses I hankered after were doing nothing to flatter a post-two child tummy (and I wasn’t prepared to stand all day sucking in my tummy in case of a candid shot from a professional or amateur photographer!).
Luckily, the assistant was fantastic at picking my ego up off the floor and suggesting more comfortable and suitable styles, and I left the boutique with a far better understanding of which dresses would work for me, and what could be done to adapt a dress to fit my (loosening) criteria. No more would I walk past the racks and racks of strapless dresses when I realised that with the addition of cap sleeves they could easily turn into the Jane Austen dress of my dreams.
The Experience
My experience of buying my dress was mixed. My first trip into a boutique was on-spec into a Mayfair establishment where you have to buzz to gain access – yes, on-spec, in Mayfair!! I soon learned the error of my ways (well not that soon, actually, as they left me waiting for 45 minutes before telling me that they were far too busy to talk to me that day!) and made sure that I carefully planned visits to other boutiques, making the requisite appointments weeks in advance.
My second foray was closer to home in the Surrey countryside, and here I was met with a warm, friendly and professional attitude. I was made to feel comfortable, special and given good, practical advice. Despite it being a Saturday afternoon, I wasn’t made to feel rushed and felt totally buoyed by the experience, even if I didn’t have the “this is it” moment I was hoping for. There were two dresses I really liked, but I didn’t want to decide there and then in my first real visit to a bridal boutique, and so I pushed onwards…
…and down to earth with a bump! My next shop couldn’t have been more different. Limited to trying on four dresses on a Wednesday afternoon when there were two assistants sitting doing nothing and no other customers, I was made to feel like an inconvenience and ended up spending the whole hour apologising – for not being thinner, younger, more sure of what I wanted and then finally for not putting a huge deposit down on a dress I really didn’t want.
My final destination came from a recommendation, and was a long trek from home. With an ever-hopeful heart I made the journey down to White Mischief in Henfield, West Sussex. Here the range of dresses was amazing and I homed in on a selection mainly from Augusta Jones, which had the wonderful ability of being able to be made in a selection of fabrics, with a multitude of adjustments to make them into the dress of your dreams. Again, the sales staff were highly experienced and quickly assessed what was working and what wasn’t in the dresses I was selecting, and set about suggesting alternatives that might fit my vision, body shape and budget!
Finally I narrowed it down to two options: a Grecian looking empire line strapless dress with added sparkles and lots of floatiness, or a satin dropped waist number with various ruched panels across the bodice (please, at this point, feel free to cross refer to my above list of items I would not entertain as part of my wedding dress and judge me accordingly!). I hadn’t had a “wow” moment with either of them (and perhaps more strangely my mother hadn’t cried with either), but they both felt right and comfortable. I finally decided on the Grecian number (with the addition of capped sleeves) and my Jane Austen-esque vision was born!
So, did it matter that I didn’t have that amazing moment of knowing that I had chosen the right dress? Yes, the feeling that I had missed out on something did bother me until I walked down the grand staircase at Highclere Castle to meet Andy at the bottom and he said to me “That dress is perfect – it’s so you”, and then I knew I’d found “The One”.
Happy Planning!
Sarah x
Photo Credits:
Cinderella: Disney via Disney Dreaming
Jennifer Ehle as Elizabeth Bennett: Fanpop
Window shopping bride: My Dream Wedding
Sarah’s wedding: Magno Photography
Very thoughtfully (and candidly) written post! Brides, take heart!
comment by Lissa (The Wedding Bistro at Bellenza) on March 01, 2012 11:03AMA round of applause for your article.Thanks Again. Want more.
comment by Trinity Riffe on April 27, 2012 07:04AM